Merry Christmas!!!

Today

there is no illness in my house

Today

there is no pain

no needles

no dialysis

no diagnostics

Today there is no suffering

Today there is a four year old

Who is four

Not four-going-on-twenty

But four

Not suffering four

Not sad four

Not scared four

Not damaged four

But four

Just

Four

About a half an hour ago, Maisie keeled over and fell asleep, facefirst, into a pile of used wrapping paper and new socks on an armchair, clutching three new stuffed animals. Jeff just carried her upstairs and tucked her into bed. I think this scene speaks to the success of our Christmas Day. She about wet herself when she started unwrapping presents, she was so excited. Mom, Dad, Jeff, and I just sat around with cups of coffee for hours watching her play. She is the best. This is a season of hope, but sometimes in the fluorescent light of hospitals and doctor's offices, I forget about the hope. I see doctors and surgeries and medicine and pain in the future, but I don't see hope.

But she does. She always does. Maisie is smart. She knows that her future hold pain, sorrow, suffering. She knows that her future is undetermined, she knows that her life is not the same as it is for her classmates and friends (except Kaitlynn) but she also knows that there is always hope. She never loses sight of the good things and the happy things. She sees them, always and everywhere, even during intense suffering. She sees hope. She is hope.