Getting an older child ready for a new baby: the crazy way!

Hi everybody! Stella here. Charlotte has kindly asked me to share what I did to get my two-year-old, Mary Alice, ready for her little sister. We were so excited when I found out I was pregnant -- as the oldest of six, I could never imagine having anything less than a huge family. But I also remembered vividly the jealousy I suffered from. I didn't want my kids to think that the new baby was in any way usurping their place in mommy or daddy's hearts. So I decided to do something a little bit crazy.

A month into my second pregnancy, when I was certain I was having a baby, I told Mary Alice that she was getting a present. I wasn't referring to my baby, though: crazy as it sounds, I had spent $150 on this sweetie pie:

She's a "reborn doll," a hyper-realistic baby doll designed to look and feel exactly the same as a real infant. She's the same size and weight as the average two or three month old, and even breaths, coos, and has a heartbeat. When she arrived, I would teach Mary Alice to take care of her the same way she would take care of a real baby. But Mary Alice still didn't know about the coming doll. First, I told her we had to prepare for the baby. I decided to get the nursery ready a little early. Mary Alice picked out everything, from the paint to the curtains to the furniture. We bought a real crib and real bassinet, a dresser, a changing pad, 0-3mo. diapers, bottles, the works. My husband sawed the feet off the bassinet so that, with a little stool, Mary Alice could easily reach inside. She came with me to pick out all kinds of 0-3 outfits, socks, hats. 

The only thing I got that wasn't made for living babies was the stroller and cary seat. I got the most realistic ones that I could, but because these items are expensive and when the real baby arrived I would need one for both babies, I decided not to spend all that money. Instead, after reading this rave review, we got the Joovy Toy Bundle. It came with a super-realistic pack'n'play, a stroller, and a car seat, all light enough and small enough for a little girl to use. The car seat latched into the car or stroller just like a real one. Mary Alice had not trouble figure out how to work the latches. Perfect. We even had a baby shower with some of her friends, and she got to unwrap each of these pieces.

Everything I purchased would be used for the real baby, but first Mary Alice would use it with her baby, and when I was taking care of our new little baby, Mary Alice would be right alongside me taking care of this doll. When I was three months pregnant, the doll arrived in the mail. Thankfully, she arrived while Mary Alice was at school, so I was able to dress her in a diaper and hospital blanket, and even put a little wristband on her. When Mary Alice came home, I told her that I had a very special surprise for her. I presented the baby and taught Mary Alice how to properly hold her. Then I explained that this was Mary Alice's baby to love and care for. I taught her how to change diapers and bottle feed. I made up some "formula" so that Mary Alice could make her bottles and feed her with the special, sealed bottles I had prepared. I even downloaded baby crying and sleeping sounds to iTunes so that the baby monitor had something to pick up on and Mary Alice had a reason to go check on her. The baby, whom Mary Alice named Emily, became Mary Alice's pride and joy. When Mary went to school I promised to take care of Emily. Often I turned her off so I could get work done, but did keep her in the bouncy seat near me. 

When my second daughter arrived, Mary Alice was thrilled that mommy could join in her play. My diabolical plan had worked. It was an expensive endeavor, but the love between these two little girls is priceless, and everything will be reused for the rest of my kids.