It's not cancerous.
But there are three more.
Miranda came by, she brought cookies from the Eleni's Cookies to make us all feel better but I can't stop reciting this stupid list: gastroenterological dysfunction, 1.5 living lungs, tetanus, kidney failure, tumors. What's next? What other organ will fail? Miranda took me out to lunch earlier while Mom and Dad stayed with Maisie. She thought it would be relaxing but it wasn't: there was a little girl there who looked just like Maisie. But healthy. Robust in a way I can't describe, whole a way I know my child will never be. And I can't help but feel totally guilty. I can't help but wonder if I had married someone other than Ricky if none of this would have happened - if I hadn't been attacked with Maisie in my womb if she would be healthy, happy, robust, whole. I feel sick, angry. I lost my mind in the restaurant a little, I started crying and yelling at that little girl that it wasn't my choice for my daughter to be so sick. Miranda had to drag me out. I want to cry. I think I will.
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